Values, Defenses and Passions

Values - universally regarded as essential:

 

(Try to imagine a world in which none or even one of these are possible for anyone!)

  • Survival

  • Safety

  • Pleasure

  • Belonging

  • Kinship

  • Intimacy

  • Connection

  • Power

  • Courage

  • Autonomy

  • Self-Reliance

  • Purity

  • Tradition

  • Duty

  • Honor

  • Patriotism

  • Truth

  • Success

  • Merit

  • Competition

  • Responsibility

  • Community

  • Authenticity

  • Fairness

  • Compassion.

  • Kindness.

  • Goodness

  • Cooperation

  • Beauty

  • Learning

  • Peace

  • Love

  • Freedom

  • Creativity

  • Fun

  • Play

  • Entertainment

  • Choice

Defenses - how we protect what we value:

(the effective or destructive habits we've learned)

  • Argue

  • Fight

  • Threaten

  • Go Silent

  • Freeze

  • Walk away

  • Shout

  • Shame

  • Gossip

  • Slander

  • Sabotage

  • Get sick

  • Bribe

  • Blackmail

  • Prove yourself right

  • Prove 'them' wrong

  • Break things

  • Get someone to fight for you

  • Ignore the situation

  • Pretend all is “OK!”

  • Compromise

  • Pretend to agree

  • Avoid topics

  • Avoid the person

  • Avoid the situation

  • Revenge fantasies

  • Obsess and stress

  • "Forgive" and move on

Passions - Negative drives that constrict us:

  • Selfishness

  • Greed

  • Lust

  • Pride

  • Wrath

  • Deceit

  • Fearfulness

  • Gluttony

  • Vanity

You've made it this far. Consider how much your life might change if you had the support to become a master of conflict within yourself and in all your relationships.  How might your life be different?

© 2018 Core Values Matter, by Paul W. Fogarty

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